I Have Places To Go
by Fine Specimen Retrieved
Summary: When Frisk said: "I have places to go," they meant they had to take care of their broken human family. It still hurt to be left behind. Two-shot. Mentions of verbal abuse and suicide. I do not own the picture. Complete. Maybe.
1. Chapter 1

"Ah… I see…" Toriel whispered in response to Frisk's answer. They bit their lip, wondering why Toriel sounded so crushed. She knew that they would visit her right? That this wouldn't be the last time they would see them? It hurt to leave them, but Frisk had to go check up on his family. Their human one. The last time they had saw them, their mother had been-

"Well, I hope that I am not keeping you." Toriel's detached voice shook them from their musings. Frisk froze at the harshness of her words. They sounded accusing. Bitter. They clenched their fists. Couldn't she see that they didn't want to go? That they wanted to stay, but they couldn't?

No, that was cruel of him. She couldn't read minds. She just didn't know.

Toriel gave a curt nod, before turning and walking away. Frisk's chest felt tight and small tears stung their eyes. She had only walked a few steps, before pausing. She turned to look at them and spoke once more:

"Frisk." She said softly, and they couldn't stop the small hopeful feeling bubbling in their chest.

" _'_ _See you around.'_ " And she turned around and left. Frisk sagged at her words and turned to stare at the setting sun. They wondered if it was even worth going back home if it meant Toriel, the only woman who had ever acted motherly them, would hate them.

It didn't seem like it.

The place where they stood was silent and empty. All of their other friends had already left, gone to explore or tell the others. Frisk didn't feel like encountering anyone. Perhaps… It would be best for them to leave already.

Yes. It was probably for the best.

And so they turned to the path heading down to the bottom of the mountain. They checked their pockets and were relieved to find a small human banknote crumpled inside. It would be enough for a bus ride into the city. As they walked down, they purposely tried to shove the thoughts of their friends to the back of their mind. Their adventure was over now. There was no need for them to stay. They had to leave in order for them to look after Mother.

After all, no-one else would.

They knew that their older brother would ignore her, and leave her in a pool of her own alcoholic vomit. Their father would be too busy with work and his… female associates. And God knew that their mother would be too drunk to clean herself up. That left Frisk up to the job. They had been dragging her intoxicated body to the sofa, thrown a blanket over her and mopped up whatever vomit or other fluids their mother would leak since they were four. They were the one that would clean up the wine glass shards and the broken bottles.

They could barely remember the beautiful woman she once was. Or, the woman she would be in front of the neighbours. To the school. To everyone but her family. They knew how she looked in front of others. Perfectly coiffed brown hair, beautifully done nails, designer dresses and shoes, with a gleaming flask filled with vodka hidden in her leather purse. But at home the house would smell of alcohol. Shattered wine glasses and large bottles filled with the poisonous liquid their mother would drink would litter the kitchen floor. When they were lucky, their mother would still be awake when they got back from school, and they would be able to help her to the couch, to make her coffee and bring her water, while mopping up the amber liquid dripping onto the tiled floor.

Sometimes she would already be sleeping; a delicate hand clasped around a bottle. That would make it harder for them to transfer her to the sofa, but it was easier for them to pry the alcohol away.

The worst times were when she was angry. Or vomiting. Both were equally disgusting. Anger would usually have upset shrieks and sharp nails until she wore herself out. With vomit, Frisk had the danger of their mother choking on it. That and it left an awful mess.

Both were unpleasant.

They were startled out of the memories/facts, by the sound of the bus approaching. Frisk snapped their head up, shocked that they had climbed down the mountain so quickly. With luck, it would take Papyrus and the others longer to get down.

Ducking their head, they hurried to the bus stop, before rushing on. The bus driver raised an eyebrow at their behaviour but did not comment, other than his standard: "Place?" Frisk smoothed the crumpled banknote and held it out.

"To the City Centre please," they mumbled out. The bus driver took the note, stared at it, before tucking it into the small box and handing out a handwritten ticket. "Enjoy your ride. It's gonna take a while."

Frisk barely nodded, before moving to the back. There was no-one else there. Only them and the driver. They had forgotten how barely any people went to Mt. Ebott. The missing children were one large factor, though it also had to do with how dangerous it could get. Rockslides frequented the rocky terrain, and it was through special thick wire nets that stopped the debris from falling onto the road. Frisk hoped that the others wouldn't get caught up in a sudden rock fall. Their chest tightened at the thought of the others. Would they hate Frisk like Toriel did because they had to go home? They swallowed harshly at the idea.

But then again, would they really care? Undyne tolerated Frisk at best, and they weren't all too close to her. The same went with Alphys. They barely knew anything about the two of them. Frisk had barely spoken with Asgore, so they doubted he would worry much. Papyrus had his brother, and Sans…

Well, Frisk was certain that Sans hated them. He had made that clear at the restaurant at MTT resort.

Besides, they barely knew anything about their 'friends'. All they knew were the basics. The things that everyone knew.

Though if Frisk had to be honest, they had only known the others for a week. It wasn't long enough for proper bonds to form. They remembered the quick dismissal of the others after Frisk beat Omega Flowey. And besides, Frisk had barely spoken a word throughout their journey. The others hadn't even known their real name. Instead, they all called Frisk the first fallen human's name. And that hurt. Because it meant that they were simply a replacement to Toriel. A mere imitation of her lost son. And the others… They were only special to the others because they were a human. And now they could have plenty of humans. They would make new friends and forget about Frisk. And as painful as that thought was, they accepted it. Because they were used to being forgotten. To being used. They knew what it was like to be pushed aside and ignored, because that was their entire life before the Underground.

* * *

It was dark when Frisk finally returned… 'home'. Their house was an exact replica of the other houses on the street. It was a typical cookie-cutter neighbourhood. Of course, the neighbourhood was slightly upper-class, and most people who lived there had money. Frisk stood in front of the simple oak door, hand raised to knock against the wood. Soft anticipation and nervousness rose inside their stomach. Maybe, just maybe, they had noticed their disappearance. Maybe they had been worried. Maybe… they cared. Frisk swallowed down their nervousness and knocked. They waited for someone to come down, for someone to answer. Even though it was late, the lights were still on. Panic welled up in their chest, and they knocked again, harder than the last time.

Finally, after waiting several minutes, angry footsteps could be heard through the door. It was yanked open and a young man glared out.

" _What?!"_ He growled out before looking and Frisk gulped at their brother's ire. He finally looked down and sneered as he caught sight of them.

"Where the fuck have _you_ been? Those bastards at your school have been calling non-stop saying you haven't turned up for the past week. Gary is absolutely _livid_ at you," he spat out, not bothering to conceal his hate for his younger sibling.

"I went to the mountain," Frisk replied softly and their brother scoffed.

"Doesn't make a fucking difference to Gary. The old man is gonna beat the shit out of ya, ya know that?" He said gleefully, and they froze. Frisk knew first-hand how angry their father could get, and though he had never hit them, there could always be a first time. But their health didn't matter. Frisk had to ask about the person they had come back for.

"What about Mother? How is she?" They asked quietly, and their brother barked out a cold laugh.

"The bitch is fine. Drunk outta her mind, but what's new about that? She'll only stop drinking once she's dead." The information was spat out with more hate than ever and Frisk was barely surprised. It was no secret that their brother hated their mother more than anything. There was however, one more person Frisk wanted to know about. Another person their brother despised. Maybe even more than their mother.

"Has- Did Loretta-?" Their brother hit Frisk on the head, practically frothing at the mouth. They fell to the floor, clutching their throbbing head.

"Are you fucking stupid?! When will your tiny miniscule brain finally get that _she doesn't care about us!?_ "

 **"** **What the hell is going on here?"** Both of them froze. Frisk gulped heavily and turned their gaze up to the icy stare of the man they called father.

"Oliver. Get inside. Your loud voice will disturb the neighbours." He commanded, and Frisk watched their brother slink inside. As he turned to leave, he gave one last glare at Frisk. Then, he was gone.

Meanwhile, they were alone with their father. He stared impassively at them, and Frisk couldn't help but shiver softly. Their father's rage wasn't loud or noticeable. It was quiet, simmering and scalding hot. He wouldn't raise his voice, instead choosing to speak in soft, smooth tones. And his words were harsh. They were cold, cutting, calculating. They lashed out at where it hurt the most and spoke of sharp threats, woven deeply in his words. He made you feel worse than trash. His words cut deeper than any knife and were more poisoned than arsenic. Their father smashed any self-confidence they had, he crushed any happy feelings and he made their self-hate grow deeper than the Underground.

Frisk was terrified of their father.

After all, he was the reason they ran to Mt. Ebott.

* * *

Frisk crawled into bed that night with a bruised cheek and a shattered spirit.

Their will,

Their psyche,

Their _determination_ …

Was completely destroyed.

* * *

The mountain was abandoned. Most monsters didn't want to stay once they had been freed. After all, who would want to stay near their prison? Frisk wondered why they were going back though. Why they would torture themselves by going to the place where they made their happiest, and most cutting, memories, was a mystery. Maybe it was because they wanted to relieve their few precious memories; maybe it was because they wanted to feel the happiness, the joy (the pain) by going back.

Maybe Frisk just wanted to feel something, anything once again.

After… _that night_ everything had changed drastically. They went through their day automatically, barely feeling anything. They were constantly tired, constantly lethargic and slow. Frisk felt like a doll, mechanically going through their day, pulling the correct faces and faking the right emotions for when they were needed. And yet all they felt was a swirling emptiness, a hollow ache in their chest and the everlasting tiredness. It wasn't a physical fatigue, something that could easily be cured with a night's sleep. Rather, it was a mental weariness, an exhaustion of life itself.

And that was why Frisk was back at Mt. Ebott.

To do what they had tried to do the first time.

Besides, it would be better this way. It would be better if they died. After all, they were the only one with the power to reset. And if they were dead, no-one could force the monsters back underground by resetting.

Yet why did that reason sound like an excuse to them?

Maybe because it was.

Because it was easier to have a reason to kill yourself. It was easier than having the only explanation of 'I was tired'.

Because that was the real reason why they were going to go throw themselves of the mountain. It was a selfish reason. And yet… they were fine with that. Perhaps the Frisk in the Underground would have been different. Perhaps that Frisk would have had more reason to live. They probably would have stayed with Toriel and Asgore and Undyne and Alphys and Papyrus and… Sans. That Frisk wouldn't have felt so tired and hopeless. That Frisk would have their family (real family, not the pitiful excuse that they had).

But they didn't have that. They were alone.

(Being alone was what they were used to after all.)

They were wearing the same clothes they had worn while in the Underground. Somehow it had felt fitting to them. To die permanently in the clothes that they had died in several times before. They hadn't packed much, only a water bottle and some sandwiches. They planned on having a picnic on the mountain before they died. It was somehow poetic to have their last meal on the mountain that had brought them so much joy (and pain, never forget the pain).

Frisk knew that no-one would ever find their body. No-one came to the mountain anymore. So no-one would find their corpse. And again, they were okay with that. It meant that they would be able to rest in peace with no disturbances.

It wasn't long until they finally reached the cliff where they had last seen all of their…family. Frisk sat down and opened their basket, taking out a sandwich. They chewed mechanically, while staring blankly at the setting sun. The splashes of orange, red and pink against the sky made their (hollow, so, so hollow) chest clench at the sight. They put the sandwich down and lifted the water bottle and gulped down some of the water. Frisk put the bottle down once more, not bothering to pick up their half-eaten sandwich again.

Frisk had hoped…

They had hoped that by eating at that place, that by sitting there…

That maybe they would feel something again.

That maybe…

 _They_ would come by.

…

 _But nobody came._

And so Frisk stood up, ignoring the pack and sandwich on the floor. Somehow, they felt (an echo, it was barely anything) excited. It would finally be over. Their tiredness, their nothingness… It would be over.

They were going to die.

Frisk…

Was going to die.

And they couldn't wait.

They took a step forward, closer to the cliff's edge, and anticipation roiled deep (ever so deep) within.

Another step.

And another.

And soon they were almost at the very edge. Just one more step, and they would be-

"Kid?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, quick update for now. I just changed the ending. I may be continuing this. Maybe. Perhaps. I decided I didn't like the previous ending that much, so I added some parts to it. I felt that it was otherwise too... final. I'll probably be writing a new story soon, so watch out for that I suppose.**

* * *

"What do you mean Frisk left?!" Undyne shouted, and Toriel looked away, attempting to ignore the bustle of sounds around them. Most, if not all monsters had left the Underground and were now patiently waiting for what was to come next. Some had set up camps with different monsters lounging around, chatting excitedly about the sky and the stars. Asgore had gone with Papyrus and Sans in order to introduce himself to humans and to explain that they just wanted to live peacefully. Undyne had wanted to go with them, but Asgore had decided it would be best if she stayed, as she could be and look rather intense. Alphys, not wanting to leave Undyne, stayed as well. Toriel had decided it would be best for her to stay and look after all of the monsters, as well as keep everything in order. She had been strangely down the entire evening, and when Undyne noticed the lack of Frisk, she had immediately decided to confront the former queen.

"It means exactly what it means. They said they had things to do," Toriel replied softly, not daring to look at Undyne. Said ex-captain was fuming.

"And you didn't try to stop them?!" She yelled out, only to flinch when Toriel pinned her with a sudden heated glare.

"What was I supposed to do Undyne?" She hissed out. "I couldn't tell them 'No you can't leave', could I?"

"You could have tried Toriel! Talked to them! Asked them _why_ and _if they would ever come back_!"

"It isn't that easy!"

"Yeah it is! It's just some words! Some questions!"

"It's not like _that_ for me Undyne! You've never lost a child before! _You don't know how it feels, to hear your child say they want to leave!_ " Toriel howled. By then the entire area had gone mostly silent, with only a few murmurs here and there.

"Um…Is-Is everything alright?" Alphys asked quietly, confused by the commotion going on. Undyne turned her gaze to her girlfriend, her eyes becoming a tad softer, before hardening again as she looked at the former queen.

"Frisk's gone. Toriel says they left," Undyne snarled out. Alphys jumped at the frustrated tone of her girlfriend, before putting a scaled hand onto the other's arm.

"D-Don't worry U-Undyne! Frisk will… Frisk will come back soon! So we should… just wait for them! Get a room for-for them and learn how to make their favourite food so we can s-surprise them with it!" Alphys stuttered out, her face reddening as she saw the queen's and Undyne's gaze on her. Slowly, a small smile appeared on the fish woman's face.

"Yeah… Yeah, you're right Alphys!" Undyne's smile turned apologetic. "Sorry for yelling Toriel. I just… I was just surprised and worried for the punk."

"No. No… It's my fault. I-I should have tried harder to stop them, or at least asked where they were going and when they would come back," Toriel replied, a sad smile etched onto her face.

* * *

To be honest, Sans had no idea what to feel when Toriel had announced that Frisk had left to go… _somewhere_. He had been confused at the kid's unusual decision at first, before feeling slightly miffed, if not a little resentful that they had left after everything everyone had done. It felt as though the kid was spitting on all of the kindness and love everyone had shared with them. As if the adventures and hardships they had all suffered together meant nothing. Then again, he was being slightly bitter towards Frisk. Sans wasn't as close to them as Papyrus or Toriel was. Any time they had spent together was usually tense and broaching sensitive topics. Of course it didn't help that he had pretty much threatened the kid, with not an ounce of subtlety at the MTT Resort.

Frisk was dangerous in Sans' eyes. A kid shouldn't be able wield the powers that they did. The ability to save, reload…

And Reset.

That was what scared him the most. The fact that the kid might be unsatisfied with this ending. That it was too boring for them. That they would reset everything and everyone would be trapped in the Underground again.

When a month had passed by and there was no reset, Sans had a faint feeling of hope. He hoped that maybe, just maybe this timeline was going to be safe. That he and all the other monsters could finally live above-ground in freedom and peace. When another month went past and still, nothing happened, Sans was overjoyed. Papyrus had been confused, yet happy, with his noticeable good mood and (slightly more upset with Sans') terrible puns. Not everyone was as cheerful a he was however. Toriel had been slightly more subdued and getting more anxious by the day. Papyrus was wondering where his human had gone and he was slowly getting more suspicious of the constant excuses everyone gave him. Undyne was somewhat angry at the kid's disappearance, but she didn't worry all too much. She was convinced they would come by soon.

"The punk's probably just spending time with their human family!" She would yell energetically, and that would somewhat cheer everyone up. (Except Toriel. She seemed to droop whenever Undyne would say that.) Sans himself didn't really care where the child was, as long as they didn't reset. Besides, they must have been in a wonderful place in order for them to not come at all. He supposed that was another reason he disliked the child. They hadn't come to visit yet. And while that usually wouldn't affect him, it was making Papyrus and Toriel sad. And no-one got away with making Papyrus sad.

And so, Sans began his (some-what reluctant) search for Frisk.

* * *

They stared at each other for a while. Since Sans had called out to them they hadn't spoken a word to each other. Frisk carefully kept their face blank, while Sans' grin seemed to be slightly strained. Frisk was wondering what they should do. What Sans might do. How to react, what to say, how to smile, how to say 'I missed you' to someone who hated them. Eventually Sans cleared his non-existent throat and tried to widen his grin.

"So, Kiddo, where've ya been?" He sounded light-hearted, but there seemed to be something hidden behind the cheerfulness. Frisk easily recognized it as disgust and vague annoyance.

"At home, with my parents. How have you all been?" They asked quietly, plastering a soft smile onto their face.

"Wow, I didn't know you cared considering you've been, well, gone. We've all been fine. Great even. You should visit sometime. Pap and Tori miss you. So do the others," he announced, watching them carefully. Frisk registered his words and wondered how they could have ever thought that Sans maybe didn't hate them. His first sentence was proof that Sans absolutely despised them and hated them for leaving.

"Ah. Yeah, I should. Where have you all been living so far?" They asked, attempting to sound curious and happy. They had to pretend they were happy to see Sans. Pretend that they weren't about to jump. They just had to pretend everything was wonderful for (hopefully) a few minutes until he left.

"Ahh, ya know, around. We've made a small town on the outskirts of the mountain. So, how are your family? They must be pretty glad to have ya back."

Oh if only Sans knew. But he didn't, so Frisk put on a happy grin and nodded.

"Yeah!" They can't bring themselves to say anything else about their family. They have no idea what positive things they could say about their family. Worst of all, they didn't think they could say anything good without looking like a complete liar.

"That's good, I suppose."

The both of them lapsed into silence once more. Frisk hoped that Sans would leave soon. They didn't think they could keep on the happy smile for much longer and the desperation for death was getting stronger every moment. Sans was vaguely wondering why they had been up alone on the mountain. Deciding to ask his question, he inquired: "So what are you doing up here all alone? You wanna see the Underground again? **_Or are you going to do something stupid?_** " Because if the little brat was going to reset everything after the hope he had felt, after everyone's dreams coming true… Then he would honestly murder the kid right there.

Frisk froze when they heard the deep and angry voice, and tried not to look in Sans' blank ( _empty, so_ _ **so**_ _empty, why is he staring at them like that, why can I feel the hatred rolling off him in waves-)_ eyes.

"W-What do you mean?" They stutter anxiously, because dear god if Sans knew what they were going to do (what they were still planning to do)… If he knew… They didn't even want to think about it.

" ** _You know what I mean_** **kid** ," He growled out and Frisk felt themselves shake slightly. Oh god he knew. He knew what they were going to do. They couldn't take it anymore.

They just couldn't hold it all in.

They were tired.

They couldn't keep up this façade.

"…Yes. I was going to do it." Frisk did not expect the sudden blue magic to engulf them and throw them down onto the floor. They gasped at the shattering pain they felt and gave out a choked cry.

"You selfish shit! You're just going to destroy everybody's dreams like this? **_You're just going to reset everything, trap everyone down there again because of your sick desires?!_** " They blinked.

"What?" They croaked out in confusion, wondering what Sans was talking about. He paused and stared incredulously at Frisk.

"You- What-?"

"Reset…? Why would I reset…?" They asked softly, having no idea why on earth Sans would think that they would reset. Frisk wasn't even going to broach the topic on how the hell he knew. That would be a can of worms they didn't want to open at that moment.

"Then… What were you going to do? What stupid thing were you going to do?" He questioned and they went rigid, before tugging the corners of their lips to make a painfully wide grin.

"Nothing! Don't worry about it, it was stupid!" They chirped, as they slowly rose from the floor, wincing at the aches and bruises.

"…Sorry 'bout that."

"Don't worry."

Silence reigned once more. On one hand, Sans desperately wanted to know what Frisk was going to do, but on the other hand…

It wasn't his business. Besides, they could deal with their own problems, especially after abandoning everyone.

He tried to ignore the soft dread creeping along his rib-cage.

"Anyway, I best be going. You should really come visit. Here's the address," he handed the bruised child a slip of paper, pretending not to see the hidden dullness behind their ( _fakefakefakefakefakefakefake_ ) sparkling eyes.

"Will do! Tell everybody I say hi, okay?"

"Sure. See ya around."

And in a blink, he was gone.

* * *

Sans tried to shove the crawling feelings of terror and anxiety down, but they continued to plague him. He had no idea why he felt so panicky and worried. It couldn't be the kid, they were fine. But as soon as he thought about Frisk, the horror spiked upwards and made him flinch.

He hadn't felt like this since Alphys tried to-

 ** _Oh god._**

 ** _Oh god, please no._**

 ** _The kid seemed fine. The kid was happy._**

 _(But it wouldn't be the first time someone pretended to fine.)_

Sans froze and felt the violent urge to vomit. And he couldn't suppress those blank, blank (dead, empty, sick, tired) eyes he saw on Frisk.

While Sans didn't like them very much, he didn't want them to die. Not like this.

How could they even feel that way? They were just a kid! They had a good family, a good life-

 ** _But did they really?_**

Sans broke into motion, immediately teleporting himself back to where they were before. He watched as Frisk stumbled closer and closer to the edge, a small, tired, _content_ smile on their face. He felt sick. How could a child be so willing to die? How could a child accept death so easily?

"Frisk. What are you doing." It wasn't a question. It was a statement.

Frisk froze when they heard Sans speak up again, and whirled around to face them.

"Oh, just enjoying the-"

"Don't lie to me."

…

…

"I'm tired."

"Why."

"I just can't go on."

"You'll just come back, you know that right." Another statement.

"…That… That isn't entirely true."

"What do you mean? If you die, everything just resets again-"

"Not if it's willing."

Sans paused, staring in disbelief at Frisk.

"What do you mean?"

"…I can only come back to life, or a save point if you will, if I have the determination… to live. To survive."

"…I see."

Silence.

Silence.

"Why?" Sans finally asked, not looking them in the eyes. They shrugged.

"Don't give me that bull-crap. Why?"

And Frisk told him everything.

When they were done, Sans stared at them critically.

"Come with me then. Everyone misses you. I'm sure you miss everyone too." He said and Frisk gave a small broken smile.

"That's the problem though. I would not be able to give them the love they deserve. Not only that…" They looked up at the sky, small tears beginning to fall from their eyes.

"I can't feel anything anymore. Everything would be wasted on me."

He narrowed his eyes in disbelief.

"Kid that's utter bollocks and you know it. Just come with me. It's easier for all of us."

"Easier for all of us? Or just you and the others?"

They closed their eyes.

"I'm sorry Sans." They swallowed.

"But I'm tired."

 ** _"I just want to go to sleep."_**

Frisk stepped off the edge.

 _Crack._

It took a moment for Sans to realize what had just happened. Suddenly, every noise seemed blocked out. White-noise echoed around him as he sprinted to the brink of the mountain.

His mind was blank as he stared down, arms falling loosely to the sides.

Blood spilt around the broken figure of Frisk. It pooled around them like a crimson lake, their mangled form an island in the liquid. Their head had burst open like an overripe watermelon, bits of gore flecked onto the ground.

He didn't realize he was crying until he felt his tears damp against his skull.

Oh god.

Oh god.

How on earth was he going to be able to tell the others? How was he going to explain that he just watched it happen?

 _How on earth did he let this happen?_

Suddenly a soft hissing sound echoed around him and Sans froze. Ripping his eye sockets away from the (deaddeaddeaddeaddead) kid, he stared upwards. The sky was beginning to disintegrate into tiny dust-like particles. Sans barked out a manic laugh at the sight. He was very familiar with the view. The blue of the sky turned darker and darker. No sound occurred throughout the entire world, with the exception of the hissing sound. If one were to look at a city, they would notice that everything was frozen. Nothing would move. No sounds would be heard.

"So much for your theory, you brat," Sans croaked out, his grin widening.

"Willing death equals no reset, my arse."

Yes, Sans was very familiar with what was occurring.

The timeline was being wiped out.

The world was resetting.

"See ya on the other side kid."

* * *

 ** _Christ on a bike cycling to mass on a Friday this chapter was hard to write. I am sorry it took so long._**


End file.
